In a deeply emotional journey marked by love, strength, and heartache, Cassidie Roberts faced an unimaginable decision—one that no parent ever wants to make. After her daughter, Aurora Jille’ia Marie, developed fungal sepsis following months in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), Cassidie knew she had to let her baby girl go.
The First Precious Moments
Cassidie recalls the first time she held Aurora in her arms. At just 44 weeks old, Aurora was incredibly tiny, weighing only 15.9 ounces and measuring 10.35 inches long. Despite her fragile appearance, Aurora carried the sweet scent of Bath and Body Works’ Warm Vanilla Sugar perfume, a memory that would stay with Cassidie forever.
“We nicknamed her Jellybean because she was so small, and her middle name was Jille’ia Marie,” Cassidie tells PEOPLE exclusively. “She could almost fit in the palm of our hand.”
A Complicated Journey from the Start
Aurora was born prematurely on August 1, 2023, at just 23 weeks old. Cassidie had sensed something wasn’t right during her pregnancy, and by 21 weeks, she was rushed to the hospital with her cervix already dilated. Despite an emergency cerclage, Aurora was born just two weeks later, facing a host of medical challenges, including a rare chromosomal issue that left her without chromosome 7q36.
“A week after birth, Aurora suffered a grade three brain bleed, and at 1 month old, she underwent heart surgery to repair a hole in her heart,” Cassidie shares. “Later, we found out she also had ventriculomegaly, and despite undergoing eye surgery three times, her eyes weren’t improving.”
The Heartbreaking Turn of Events
By January 29, 2024, Cassidie was preparing for Aurora’s discharge after nearly six months in the NICU. However, her hopes were shattered when doctors informed her that Aurora had developed fungal sepsis, a deadly infection that claims the lives of millions of children annually.
“I was shocked,” Cassidie recalls. “‘What do you mean? I’m here for discharge training. She’s supposed to come home in a couple of days.'”
As a healthcare professional, Cassidie knew in her heart that they wouldn’t be leaving the hospital with Aurora.
A Mother’s Agonizing Decision
Faced with the unbearable reality of watching her daughter suffer, Cassidie made the agonizing decision to let Aurora go. Stepping into the bathroom, she reassured herself that this choice was not selfish, but a final act of love.
“I stood before the mirror and told myself, ‘You’re not being selfish. Moms can feel that way, but not you,’” Cassidie says. Emerging from the bathroom, she told the doctor, “As her mom, I’m saying it’s okay. We don’t have to continue. I knew she was ready to go.”
Dean, her husband, understood without words. Together, they made the painful choice to let Aurora pass peacefully in her mother’s arms.
Finding Solace in Small Comforts
After Aurora’s passing, Cassidie sought comfort in the familiar scent that reminded her of her daughter. She visited Bath and Body Works to buy the Warm Vanilla Sugar perfume, a small way to keep Aurora’s memory close.
Since then, Cassidie has shared Aurora’s story on TikTok, educating other NICU parents and launching Jilly Beans Donations, a fundraiser that sends comfort boxes to families in need.
“People sometimes hesitate to bring her up, especially because she was a baby,” Cassidie says. “But I encourage everyone to talk about her with me. Yes, it may briefly sadden me, but knowing that you remember her means the world to me.”
Coping with the Loss
Cassidie continues to navigate the difficult path of grief while being a mother to her 3-year-old son, Atlas, who lovingly refers to Aurora’s grave as “sissy’s home.” Balancing the joy of motherhood with the sorrow of loss, Cassidie hopes that time will help her cope, though she knows the pain will never fully fade.
“They say time heals everything, but I don’t think it does,” Cassidie reflects. “I think we just get better at coping with it over time. I do hope to have another baby in the future, but only when I’m truly ready.”
Cassidie’s story is a testament to the strength of a mother’s love, the pain of unimaginable loss, and the enduring hope for the future. Through her journey, she continues to inspire others with her resilience and the beautiful, though tragically short, life of her daughter, Aurora.
